Dear 

Being an author over the Christmas period can be a challenging time.

Here’s a top way to be pampered and looked after during the festive season.

Print the following and ‘accidentally’ leave where it will be found by your nearest.

 

 

How to look after your writer at Christmas

 

1. If you still have gift doubts - buy your writer even more books. They will happily add them to their ‘to read – but never will’ pile. Never mention the books again.  

 

2. Frequently feed your writer – mince pies are good, but cheese is your secret weapon.

 

3. During the gift exchange, give your writer any book-related presents LAST. If you fail to do this don’t expect to have their attention when you open yours.

 

4. DO NOT ask your writer for a progress report on their latest work. Warn all other visitors not to ask as this is a sure-fire way to ruin the festive season.

 

5. Be aware that your writer may look like they aren’t listening. This is because they aren’t listening. They’re plotting ;)

 

6. Ensure your writer’s stocking has a sparkly new notepad. The paper should be so luxurious that your writer will want to keep it for special occasions.

24 hours later a special occasion may look like a doodle or a to do list, but for the writer, this is a vital part of the creative process.  

 

7. DO NOT watch Misery – no author wants to meet their ‘biggest fan’.

 

8. When you see your writer pacing, encourage them to pop off and write a few words. Your writer will thank you for this opportunity to procrastinate in a different room.

 

9. When it appears that your writer may have had one too many, give them a pass. They are most likely recreating Hemingway’s ‘Write drunk, edit sober’ mantra. Minus the writing or the editing.

 

10. Be grateful that you have a writer to look after. They are tortured, creative, frustrated, fabulous, fickle, funny, dark, excited, dejected, inspired and that’s before breakfast.

 

Merry Christmas