Hi
This isn’t just the world’s worst way of being dumped – it’s fundamental when it comes to customer service. You can’t control other people. You can’t stop customers from being rude, colleagues from being difficult, or your boss from piling on the pressure… But you can control how
you react.
That’s the difference between someone who constantly feels stressed and overwhelmed and someone who stays calm and in control – even in tough situations.
In customer service, it’s easy to blame a
bad interaction on them. ‘They were impossible,’ ‘They were rude,’ ‘They just didn’t get it.’
But here’s a truth bomb. The problem isn’t them.
It’s you and how you respond.
The Big Shift – Taking Responsibility for Your Reactions
Visualise this: One (difficult) customer – two employees. One lets frustration take over. They get defensive, their tone
sharpens and suddenly, the situation escalates. The customer pushes back harder and it becomes a battle.
The other stays calm. They listen. They don’t take the customer’s attitude personally. And instead of making the situation worse, they use their skills to defuse it.
Same customer. Same problem. Different reaction. Different result.
Your reaction determines whether a situation gets better or worse. That’s why taking responsibility (the ability to respond) is one of the most powerful skills you can develop.
The Science of Emotional Control
Psychological research on emotional regulation shows that people who manage their emotions effectively experience less stress, make better decisions and have stronger
relationships.
A study by Dr. James Gross at Stanford University found that people who reframe negative experiences, choosing to see them in a more neutral or positive light, reduce their stress levels and improve their ability to handle difficult situations.
This is why the best customer service professionals don’t take things personally. They see a difficult customer not as a personal attack, but as a problem to solve.
And when you can do that, you become unshakeable.
How to Master Your Reactions
- Pause before reacting – When something triggers you, take a breath before responding. That tiny pause between stimulus and reaction can be the
difference between reacting emotionally and responding thoughtfully.
- Reframe the situation. Lead with curiosity, not judgement – If someone is being difficult, get curious. Ask questions. ‘What’s actually going on here?’ People often just want to be heard.
- Use emotional detachment – Don’t let someone else’s bad mood become your bad mood. Their attitude is about them, not you.
Customer Service Is Your Training Camp,
Real Life Is The Battleground
Handling awkward customers, demanding bosses and challenging service situations is the best training you’ll ever receive.
If you can master staying calm, asking the right questions and controlling your reactions with clients, imagine how powerful you’ll be when it comes to difficult conversations in your personal life, managing conflict, or leading a team.
It’s not you, it’s me isn’t just about handling work challenges – it’s about building a skill that makes your days easier, happier and more successful in every area of life.
