The Silent Language of Listening

Published: Sat, 03/01/25

Updated: Sat, 03/01/25

In the cacophony of our modern world, rather than speaking louder – listen better. To stand out, try hearing the unsaid, understanding the undercurrents and connecting through listening.

Fancy a deep dive into the gritty, unglamorous art of listening? Would you like to know how to ask the right questions, find your inner Finn and tune in to the silence that speaks volumes?

That’s a flowery way of saying: talk less, listen more. Here’s how.

Why Listening Matters

Let’s start with Active Listening. It’s one of those phrases that’s easy for me to write, easier for you to read but challenging for us all to do. We all think we’re good at it, but the reality is you (and me) could be better.

Listening isn’t just a skill; it’s a lifeline. It’s about respect and trust and it’s probably the best way to create a deeper human connection. When you listen, you make people feel seen, heard and valued. It’s the difference between a superficial moment and a meaningful interaction.

So Why Don’t We Do It?

The science behind why we don’t listen is fascinating and multi-layered, involving brain function, attention span and emotional response. Here’s why we struggle:

Cognitive Overload

Listening Fatigue

Selective Attention

Your Brain’s Processing Speed

Emotional Biases and Ego

Multitasking Myth

The Willpower Factor

(in Chapter 30 of See, Smile, Say Hello I explain each of these in detail and why they stop us from listening)

Some Practical Steps to Master the Art of Listening

Be Present

Kill the distractions. Turn off your phone. Shut the laptop (unless you’re using it for the actual communication). Be there completely.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Dig deeper. ‘Can you tell me more?’ ‘That’s interesting, how did you discover that?’

Reply, Clarify and Rectify

Ask for details and repeat what you’ve heard.

‘Can you walk me through what happened?’

‘So, you’re saying…’

‘Here’s what I can do…’

Boost Your Body Language

Show you’re engaged. Nod, make eye contact, lean in.

Resist the Urge to Interrupt

Bite your tongue. Let them finish. Interrupting is the fastest way to kill a conversation.

Mental Replay

Rerun what you are hearing in your head. Not only will this clarify what’s being said, but it will also use some of your brain’s untapped processing power.

Be More Finn

The Finns are more comfortable with silence during conversation. Silence is not considered as awkward or uncomfortable in Finland as it might be in other cultures. Instead, it’s respected as a natural part of communication. This creates space for listening and understanding.

According to the International Listening Association, 85% of what we know comes from listening, yet only 2% of professionals have engaged in any formal training or learning to improve their listening skills.

This weekend, I must close the pre-order special offers.

Hopefully, I’ve whetted your appetite enough to know that this is more than a customer service book. It’s very much about being able to be a better version of yourself in all areas of life.

Tomorrow, I’m going to send you a final push on the brilliant pre-sale offers before they get switched off.

And if you’ve already ordered - Thank you! 🙏 - you can relax, enjoy the previews and know that, this time, you beat procrastination.

Be Brilliant!

Michael Heppell

PS The pre-publication offers for See, Smile, Say Hello are valid until this weekend and any order made today will receive 5 Advance Chapters sent straight to your in box. You can take a peep here.

If you don't want to see the last two See, Smile Say Hello mailings, just click here and we'll take you off the list.

Michael Heppell Ltd, Hadrian Business Centre, Church Street, Haydon Bridge, Northumberland NE47 6JG, UNITED KINGDOM

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